Just woke up but I wanted to get some thoughts off my chest with a few updates.....
I've been working on this comic nonstop for about 2 days. I've made progress but it feels like I haven't gotten anywhere yet. I have 8 pages inked and I have around 13 more to go. Then I can finally call this story finished. Thank God!! Lol
Im at a crossroads in what I want to do after I'm finished with it though. My original plan was to hold a Kickstarter campaign to make enough funds for print but I'm really unsure of myself and my fans. Not to mention my writer for my next project unexpectedly quit and she was going to help me out on that end. Smh
But yeah I'm just not sure if the fans would support to get these books printed. And for just 50 copies of them it would cost around a thousand to print. I also have to worry about audio and video. Luckily I'm back cool with my ex so I would be able to use her services to help me out but I guess I'm just afraid of the out come
Speaking of the women in my life, things have shifted a bit. My crush, honestly is no longer my crush. Things just never went anywhere. So in my head I know what her true motives were. She was never really into me. All the signs were there and I just kept fucking trying yo make things work over and over again. To my surprise she contacted me on Wednesday. But it wasnt for a reason that I thought. She just wanted to see how much I would charge to draw her. In my head I'm thinking "you bum bitch, if you actually pursued me on a serious level I would draw pictures for you free of charge!" But I just told her it depends. I then shifted the convo to us seeing each other again. (I know 😔) and she said maybe Friday. Once I read maybe, I already knew what that meant. So I said ok and left it at that. Friday comes along and of course I dont hear from her at all.
So yeah she's definitly not a priority of mine anymore and to be honest she should've never been. The difference between a girl who is interested and a girl who is on the fence is a pretty big deal. I mean granted, im starting to have a hard time depending on any woman these days but the ones who are interested in me at least contact me first 80 percent of the time. I normally don't even have to initiate contact.
That leads to this......
There's this girl who I've been talking to for around 2 weeks. She texts me first every single time. We've basically just been texting back and forth. But yesterday I decided to talk on the phone with her. I figured I'm not doing anything but inking these comic pages so I think I should be able to talk and work at the same time. Things went pretty well.
I will say that I'm slowly realizing that a lot of girls are more similar than they are different. This girl sounded and acted just like one of my exes. It got so crazy to a point where I zoned out and I almost felt like I was talking to my ex instead of her. It was crazy. She is also a big anime nerd like me and is into ecchi anime. It's crazy how I always thought I was weird for liking that stuff where there are women out here who are just as freaky. But yeah we hit it off pretty well. I'm supposed to see her today, but again I'm not trying to rely on women anymore because stupid shit always seem to find a way to happen.
But I'm just gonna keep trying to think positive thoughts.
After I got off the phone with her, i talked to another girl on the phone for around 2 hours. Didn't even feel like we were on the phone that long but we were. This is a contradiction but she isnt like the first girl at all. She was more mellow, quiet, and introverted. Took a while for me to get to her to open up. We are supposed to meet up on Monday. This is definitely an experiment. First girl ever that im going to try to get her to meet me at my house verses taking her out somewhere first. So this is going to be super interesting.
And to top it off, one of my other female friends is coming over on Sunday. I know we are guaranteed to have a good time so im not really worried about her.
Im not going to lie, i do feel really good right now. Even though the girl I really want to see more basically dissed me and doesn't see the value in me at all. But at the end of the day, the true meaning of abundance does make you a happier person. I just hope that my happiness doesn't desolve away once all of these girls start acting up on me. I just need to find more and work on my purpose
I have another story to tell, but I'll save that for another day......
