It's about to be 4:30 in the morning and I have to be at work by 7. But i really can not sleep. Simply because I have a lot on my brain right now.
I'm dead broke right now. Because I had to register my car earlier this week and the taxes murdered my earnings for this month. I was barely getting by as it is and now I got my ass handed to me on a silver platter. All the money I made were for commissions I haven't really had the chance of working on yet. This is because ive been lazer focused on finishing off this comic. But the commission todo list is getting bigger and bigger. I've gotten a shit ton of work done on the comic though. Still 10 pages left. But ive made progress because they are all inked and ready to go. Which is the most time consuming part of the process. So now I get to color which is easily the best part.
I started coloring them last night and now I have 8 pages left to color. If everything goes as planned, i should have everything ready to go by next week. 👌
Now for some other reasons why I can't sleep.....
So, as expected, the girl that was supposed to meet up with me didn't show up. I'm low-key not even surprised at this point. Girls are emotional creatures. They'll feel a certain way one day and then feel a completely different way another. Which is why I really need to learn to ignore their advances when it's not beneficial to me.
Case in point, this situation.....When she hit me up that night, i shouldve ignore her message until the next day. Smh
But anyway, I called her after I got off work and told her that she should slide through. She then tells me that she'll call me back in 30 minutes. 30 minutes go by, and hour goes by, 2 hours go by.....I hear nothing from her at all. So at this point I figure she wasn't coming so I went about my usual schedule: working on my comic book. I posted a few stories on my instagram and a few hours later I checked to see who was watching. Low and behold her name pops up. I'm like really? This is becoming a trend for some odd reason. A girl will play the fuck out of me or herself and then she will continue to stalk my instagram afterwards. Happened multiple times these past few months. Everytime it happens I just think to myself: Why?
So basically I'm beginning to learn that a lot of these chicks value my attention more than anything else. They don't really care if they ever see me again as long as I give them some sort of attention. Which is why I can barely get any of them to actually make plans and ACTUALLY follow through with the plans they make. I notice this because I never call this girl. Hell I barely even text her. So when I actually do pursue her she plays around. It's almost like a cat and mouse scenario. I need to find a way to meet better chicks. Because this shit is soooo dead. It's safe to say that i won't be talking to her any longer. She'll just be another lost soul stalking my Instagram account because I refuse to acknowledge her any longer.
Another thing that's wrecking my brain is my ex. It's like, I know we are going to hang out. She texts me almost everyday. But to what extent are we hanging out? I really want to fuck. Can't lie. But does she? Or will she? That's the biggest question that's been wrecking me these past few days. Another huge question is how would this work if either of us find someone else who we connect with? I guess both of those questions will come up when we do eventually get some alone time. I just have to be ballsy enough to let it be known what I want to do.
Man, I honestly cannot wait till it gets warmer outside. I'm really tired of the snow. I'm tired of the ice. I'm tired of the cold wind. And I'm really tired of these moronic ass chicks out here. Only time will tell if it's the weather thats making things difficult for me or is it something else?
