My head space is iffy right now. Just like it was last night. And the night before.
I'm starting to think it's because im not super focused on anything art related right now. The last 2 days I was laser focused on commissions. So much to the point that my left hand started to become sore. So today I took a break from drawing all together. I did nothing but smoke and eat today. Mixed in with a little bit of watching tv and that was my day.
I had a date set up but because women are women of course it didn't go through. I'm almost numb to these situations nowadays. I know that when I set a date with a woman that there is a 40% chance that I'll actually go on the date. This girl seems really cool and she texted me first twice in a row on seperate occasions. So im inclined to believe that this girl is interested. She just couldn't make it out today and suggested some other time next week. I agreed, let's see who forgets about who first. 🤔 This girl also reminds me of my ex. But slimmer.......
Speaking of my ex, I finally heard from her today. Interesting enough, it always seems to happen when I least expect it. Being thay multiple women now have my number I can't lie I was excited to hear from her but I wanted to hear from someone else. More on that in a minute....
My ex though, my jealousy is coming in so much right now and its fucking me up. This is the main reason why I try to distance myself from her social media. She is definitely showing off her body a lot more now. It's clearly for male attention and I know I shouldn't be mad but Its getting to me a little bit.
Which is why I'm trying to distract myself with other women but it's so difficult to find quality women that would help make things easier. The text message I'm really waiting for is from Chocolate Milk. Like I thought we really hit it off good on our little date so I'm unsure as to why I haven't heard from her. I want to text her so badly but I'm really not sure if I should right now. Things like this always happen when I come across a woman Im really attracted to. Things are so fucked up righr now that I'm looking for distractions to distract me from another distraction. It's fucking retarded.
So now I'm looking for another girl to keep me occupied until I hear back from Chocolate Milk. I'm starting to feel like I'm in a circle of confusion. I fell deep in lust with chocolate milk and I can't help but wonder if she's thinking about the same thing I'm thinking about. And if so, why the hell is it taking her so long to hit me up? I'm so lost on her right now. I can't stop thinking about that kiss we shared. It felt so right and I wanted more. I really want to spend more time with her lol
