Well....it's been a minute and LOTS of things have changed since my last entry.
I'm currently typing this in my car. On break at my new job.....yeah I had to do something that I didn't think I would have to do any time soon. I had to get a new job. Smh and not only that I had to get a full time job. Well....because my last job literally let all of their employees go. And art sales have been slow for a few months now. I blame instagram for this. I didn't think things would get worse for the platform but it did.. 😑So because I didn't have a main source of income anymore I was forced to do this.
Basically I work in a larger facility doing almost the exact thing I was doing before. But there are many other things I had to learn (and still learning) In order to be comfortable working this position. It's still taking me some time to adjust to this new 40 hour work week schedule. And its seriously cutting in my art time. But I still draw when I can. I also went from $13 an hour to $16 so my pay checks are kinda nice. I'm just still upset that after 5 long years of hustling, I am right back on the full time work struggle. Smh
As far as my co workers most of them are cool. Some of them are annoying but I'm making it work. I sense some sexual tension between me and 2 other girls who work there. But I can tell that they are both super passive and they don't say much to me at all. And I don't say much to them either. Their energies are super off and on towards me and I admit it does get to me a little bit but then I remind myself that I have a whole girlfriend at home who I love dearly. I still can't tell if they dig me in that way or they are just being nice because we work in the same place. But one of them, (her name is Sarah) did call me handsome one time. And I admit it felt great. But after that day that she just seems super distant towards me unless she absolutely has to say something to me for work. She's very attractive too. Like seriously if I wasn't in a relationship I would definitely try to talk to her more. But that's not the way things are playing out. Even before my lunch break today, i had to clock out on the pc in the lunch room and she was in there. While waiting for the computer to load I was wondering if she would say something to me but she never did. She turned around to see that I was in there and then simply walked out. And that reason alone let's me know that I shouldn't be looking into her as much as I've been doing lately. But she's so damn sexy that it is often distracting especially when she usually wears leggings and you can tell she has a nice ass. And she's short. She has to be around 5'2 or 5'3. I also noticed a ring on her left hand. Which signals she's either married or engaged. So it's looking like it wouldn't work out no matter if I was single or not.
So when she walks by the only thing I can do is imagine what it would be like to smash. But that's about it. But today kinda confirmed that I probably shouldn't be paying attention to her that much anymore. Especially when she didn't say a single thing to me today. Which by the way.....on my first week of working here, before she told me I was handsome, she would wave or say goodmorning to me each time she saw me. Not anymore. So it's best I focus on things that I can control....Like my relationship with my actual girlfriend.
Things are going swell for me and Courtney. I cant believe our 1 year anniversary is coming up soon. I've been dealing with her for sometime now and I feel like we are finally at a place of comfort with each other. She's been super serious about losing weight lately and I can definitely tell it's working. Last time we had sex I was looking at her waist and it is soooooo small now. I love grabbing on her while she's on top or I'm hitting from behind. It's such a beautiful thing. And it's a stark reminder of what I wanted to happen with my last relationship. It's so funny how things work out. I literally was begging my ex to do the things that Courtney does willingly and on her own occord. I even chumped out and bought her some new clothes for Christmas. Even ended up buying and giving it to her before Christmas so I can see if the clothes fit and they all for superbly well. I cant wait to see how she looks with the outfits when it's all put together!! I also have her working out deals with those art sharing pages to get more of my content on them. She says all the time that she sees herself working for the brand full-time in the future and so do I. We just have to actually get to that point first. And that includes me dropping this current Job I'm working and back to doing what I love and that is art!
Well that's all for now. I've spent damn near my whole lunch break typing this out when I should actually be drawing right now. But it's OK, today is Friday so when I get home from work today I will be going in!!
