Early spring

Sheesh....well today the weather has finally shown its cards. I guarantee the true start of spring next weekend.

And that means, a whole lot of activity from me. I really need to get back in the gym and I've been putting it off for months. But now that I don't have any immediate responsibilities I need to do what I need to do.

Also, my tinder subscription finally ran out. This means very little to no matches. And the matches I do get, are barely worth my time. So I'm just playing around with the conversation until I actually get a woman to come out like I was able to do a lot more last year. 😑

I'm complaining but at the same time I know that this will be good for me. I've had a few eye opening experiences these past few weeks and I'm certain that something have to change or improve.  My brother is finally opening his eyes to his girlfriends bullshit and he's begun to hang out with Brandon and I more often. But what I notice is that they both will not approach a single woman while we're out. And with me, I'm  simply just getting used to doing it again after taking so much time off. And because of this I am still hesitating a lot.  And I'm not approaching as many girls as I should be. But at least I attempt. Which is still good because it helps me understand certain things  Locario said it best. Expect rejection accept affection. 

Meaning that most of the girls who I approach won't like me. But there are ones that will. And it's my mission to find the ones that will. It's still taking me some time to take control of my ego and understand this point but in due time I will fully.

I just need to venture out more and explore this city. There's women all over the place and I won't get the chance to meet great ones until I step out and make myself noticeable.

In due time I suppose......

Well. I'm going to bed.

Wow. Tinder Gold is bullshit

Its Tuesday 10:19 pm and I've been stuck in this  rut for the past 2 days. It all started yesterday when I began noticing the patterns on tinder that I mentioned yesterday.  And I've been dealing with it ever since. I'm sure the absence of weed has something to do with it but I'm not buying any until I get another commission and I'm sticking to that. So I have a sober mind and my thoughts aren't making things better. At all.

Also my art success has been dwindling and its killing me.

Unfortunately I have no idea when another commission will come my way because it seems like this month in particular was just as bad as this past December and January combined. All in all I only managed to get 2 commissions this month and they were both half detailed. Meaning they weren't full price.  So needless to say I've been unbelievably broke for a while now.  And its bugging the shit out of me. I'm just praying that the Renisha&cjay kickstarter goes well because I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't.

One more thing before I go to bed....

I finally did it. The one thing that I told myself I wouldn't do because it wasn't worth it to me. But my curiosity got the best of me today. I purchased the highest tinder membership you could get just so I could see the hidden matches tinder hid from me. Well.....

The results were exactly like I expected. I had 65 matches that were hidden from me. And out of all 65, only 4 of them were in shape and attractive.   The rest were all  fat and ugly. And get this, the attractive girls all live in completely different states. So I waited about 15 minutes before I said fuck this, and canceled my membership all together.   I lowkey cannot believe that shit. There are soooooo many chicks using that platform but somehow I managed to match with all of the fat ones? How the fuck is that even possible?
Theres tons of single attractive women on tinder but I just seem to be this fat girl magnet on there. Soo...

Nah I'm done with Tinder now. After the 10th of next month this app will be a distant memory for me. I'm done with it for good.

It's time to stop being a chump and talk to girls in person. This online shit is for the birds.

Really ugly fat birds at that. And I'm tired of it.

New plans

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Ok

Alright, so I've been noticing a pattern on Tinder lately. And Unfortunately it's making me really question why I'm even dealing with this app anymore.  It's very clear what the "powers that be" want me to surround myself with. And honestly, I took the bait for quite some time. But now I feel like my eyes have been closed to this bullshit for way too long and it's now to finally speak some truth:

Tinder's algorithms are rigged for me to only have real connections with fat women. Which couldn't be further from the type of woman I'm attracted to and that I'm trying to deal with.

I've noticed this by conducting an experiment to see my results. The experiment was to see how different my results would be if I were to swipe on everyone (like I've been doing) vs. Swiping on everyone except fat women.  And my results were very interesting.

While swiping on everyone, I was getting tons of matches but the quality of the matches were pretty terrible. 1 out of every 6 or 7 matches was an attractive woman. Some were fake or ugly women and the rest were all fat women. The ugly women never messaged me first nor did I ever message them, I just kept them around until I couldn't stand it anymore and deleted them. The pretty women, well you already know, none of them responded back to my messages and the ones that did would say one thing and then ghost shortly after.

The fat women on the other hand, were messaging me first damn near everytime.  Each all very curious about my account. I laid some curiosity traps on my account and they undoubtedly work on women, this is clear. They are just working on the WRONG women for me!

So I decided that enough was enough. I'm not super selective with my swiping but I am absolutely refusing to swipe on a single fat or chubby chick.  And my results are very interesting. Not only are the amounts of matches I get on a daily basis completely slowed down, but the matches I do get are some of the most annoying women on the planet. They are super uncooperative, competetive, power hungry, and flaky.

So my issue is clear. And it can mean 1 of 2 things.

Either Tinder is filled with mostly fat women who can't get a date other wise and/or  filled with women who simply want attention.

Or Tinder's algorithms is playing with me and they are refusing to show my account to normal looking chicks and only to fat women.

Whatever the case may be, I am very unhappy with this and I'm highly considering leaving this app alone for good soon. I'm sitting here literally paying 10 dollars a month just to get my self esteem ripped away from me slowly. I can't deal with this shit too much longer. Which is why I'm actually really looking forward to spring and summer. It's really time for me to ace my cold approach with women.

Also, before I end this post....

I went and cut off all of the chicks who I was dealing with previously except for Angel. And this is simply because I know she fucks with me the long way. It's crazy but I've been knowing this woman for 20+  years now. So if she good, then we good.

But these other chicks, yeah it's a wrap.

Diamond, Michaela and who ever else was out there I'm super done with all of em just as I'm sure they are super done with me. But it's all good, fuck em though.

Damn

Gonna make this quick because it's kinda late but I just want to take time and reflect on how things have been the past few weeks.....

I am now completely back to square one. It may not seem like it to all the women I was talking to but it will eventually.  I'm completely starting off with a clean slate, with the exception of Angel. But that's another story smh.

But yeah its about that time anyway, the weather is about to change and it's going to be time for me to go full force into being outside again. So yeah, no more long days of being in the house with nothing to do. I'm definitely about to be more active soon. And with that, comes way more opportunities for me to approach more women. Besides all of the girls I was dealing with fell off. Some of them were purposely my fault and others were the other party entirely.

What ever the case, I know that I'm starting off with a clean slate. I deleted all the text messages and names. So if they text me and get a "who is this?" Response from me , I'm not even going to feel so bad.

Anyway, that is it for now. More at a later time.

Open book

I woke up to a text from one of my friends telling me that they are disappointed in my ex. And at that point is when I realized I no longer loved my ex. The thing is I've been knew about her recent photos on Instagram and at first it bothered me but then I got to thinking about it, it's really none of my concern at this point.

It's just super weird seeing her post photos in that way, especially with all of her brothers having access to it. Smh so at this point I could care less. I lowkey just want to rid her from my life and I will eventually. It's just that mother nature is trying to prevent the inevitable at this point and time. They said it would snow this morning but it's just raining and they had the whole city panicked for no reason. So I'm not working today and I'm sure no one is going to be in the main office so I'm going to have to wait.

Anyways I just had another mind opening experience that really shows that I dint need to be worrying about my ex nor do I need to be worrying about any other chick who isn't cooperating with me. Because the truth is there are soooo many women out there. Hell just in Atlanta alone it's crazy! Again I've been hibernating so I haven't really been out in public like that. But they are out there and what I just seen proved it.

So there's this girl that I follow on one of my Instagram accounts and I think shes super sexy! So sexy that she would be the type that I'd approach if i seen her on person. And kept thinking to myself that I wished she lived out here. She looks so good that she lowkey looks like she'd live out here. I just always assumed that she didnt.

Well to make a long story short, she posted a few photos recently and she was at a mall that in my opinion, is notorious for having the prettiest girls. The minute I seen her posts I put my phone down and stared into space for a good 49 seconds. That really blew my mind on the low.

Just goes to show that I really dont need to be worrying about my ex period. And I really shouldn't be checking on her either.  All of this pussy walking around here from top notch women. I just gotta get out a this hibernation shit. I swear as soon as this weather changes its over with. 👌🏽

Dazed

Things have settled a bit and getting back to normal for me. I'm really considering seriously working out again. After around a food 3 to 4 month hiatus I think it's going to be time really soon. Besides I need something to take my energy and attention away from drawing all the time. Like i love drawing don't get me wrong but i don't want it to start seeming like a chore.

I remember back when I was going to the gym and still working on my art at the same time last year. I think it's time to start that again.

Besides i finally have my comic proofs for Renisha &Cjay came in the mail recently. so i really need to focus a lot of my energy elsewhere anyway..

Now onto girl news......

I'm battling....well not really battling but I am definitely certain that my thoughts about the actions I will be taking the spring/summer are validated. I mean because granted, I really do love the results I've been getting on Tinder but we all know that the hottest and most on point women will not be online. I have to meet them in person. Which is why even the pretty girls I meet online can't even compare to all the girls I see when I'm out in public.  So it's very  clear in what I need to do in order to get the results I want. Which is why I can't wait till Spring!!

Also.....Diamond finally contacted me again. Funny, I thought she vanished.  Luckily I have managed to grow up a bit and I've been able to become more patient with women. Because I know how they are. They are literally like cats. And because of this Diamond reappeared like she never left. And I fucked the shit out of her when she came over. I made it a point to let her know to never disappear on me again. And she obliged.  We did all of this while we were fucking and I can't lie it was so freaking sexy the way she was talking to me. Damn I really dig this woman. Shes so sexy to me!

Anyways, I recorded her 2 more times while we had sex. And I kinda let her know that I have a collection. Simply because I want her to know that she isn't the only girl I'm dealing with and although I really dig her, I can definitely take it or leave it when it comes to her. (And to be honest, I really need to be like that with every girl that I speak with.)

Funny enough, she's started chasing me again. Which is crazy because I was the one initiating contact when we were messing around before. But this time it feels a little different.

Other than that, I'm supposed go meet a new woman tomorrow. I can't lie, the chances of that happening is pretty slim but ill still contact her and see if she's still down. If not then I know I'll always have Mary Jane to keep me company.

Anyway....I'm out