Life with Courtney has been great! We actually got married and I'd be lying if I said that I wasnt happy! The married life feels exactly like it was before we got married.
Im not sure if thats a positive thing or a negative thing, but to me it feels like the right thing. I never wanted to jump into something like marriage all green with someone. Thats a one way ticket to hell in my book. But yes shes cool! The family loves her, her family loves me. And we just vibe. I love the fact that she keeps me healthy and motivated to get off of my feet and get active. I love that she always give words of encouragement to me. It's something really special. I feel like things maybe moving too fast at times. But I have to remember my age and where im at in life. Im not getting any younger. The clock is ticking. So if im going to make my move, im going to have to make it happen soon.
Speaking of the clock ticking...
The concept of doppelgangers or the similar auras that some people have from one another has always been a fascination of mine. I get so excited when I see someone that looks like someone else I've seen on film or in photographs. I really like analyzing their features. For example, I come across a lot of girls on social media who remind me of my wife. Not visually, but their auras remind me of her. Theres this one woman in particular I follow reminds me so much of my wife despite the fact that they dont really look alike but they have similar features. She recently got engaged and her fiance has similar features to me which I find pretty interesting lol every time she pops up on my timeline I have to do a double take because I always get her confused with my wife.
Anyway, theres this new show that Netflix came out with. Its a reboot/sequel of a sitcom that would come on television back when I was a child. I was too young to understand all of nuances of the show at the time but as I grew older I began to understand it more. Nevertheless this new show is pretty interesting. Its actually really good and im enjoying myself while watching. Theres just one glaring issue: the main character reminds me sooooo much of my ex. I'm unsure if this actress is this way at all in real life, but in the show she gives off this youthful aura that really resonated and reminded me of how my ex was when we first moved in together. I looked up the actress and shes 24 years old so the timing makes sense. But yeah, she doesnt technically look like my ex but she gives off that same aura. But its really strange because when im watching the show the way she does certain things like her voice inflections, her mannerisms and her expressions are exactly how I remember my ex acting while we were together. Particularly in the beginning stage. Its kind of nostalgic in a weird ass way. Its like im looking at a version of my ex in a different universe despite the fact that this actress actually lives in the universe that im currently in. 🤦🏾♂️ Wild shit I know. Everytime I watch the show a part of me imagines what could have been had she not been a fucking idiot and listened to me the way my wife does. This actress is a slim build, probably around 130 pounds, 5'3. Everytime I see her face, its a constant reminder of a thing I tried to manifest and control that I simply could not because I started all wrong. In fact, im inclined to believe that we were never meant to last regardless of how I started. But that's another story......
After a brief search.....okay things just took a WILD ASS turn. My mind just went absolutely blank for a second. The shit that I just found out further proves my intrusive thoughts while watching this show. Now I dont know how to feel. So just for fun I decided to do some more research on this actress. While I was searching for her weight and height her ethnicity kept popping up in the Google search bar. It was almost egging me on to a certain point. Bruh this chick is Belizean just like my EX!! I remember a long time ago my ex would tell me that lots of Belizean people are related and now i believe her 100%. I wouldnt have thought in a million years that this actress would legit have the same ethnic make up as my ex yo! That is one hell of a coincidence. I kept getting this weird feeling of nostalgia while watching the show for a reason. And now that I know this information i know the nostalgic feeling is going to be MUCH stronger. Shit sucks, because a part of me wishes that I could reach out to her and ask her about this but that would NEVER happen. For many, many reasons. But because this has become way too long, ill just leave it there for now. Ill make a part 2 later.
