When its time to get over it and change

Ok now, so this will probably be the last time I'll address my feelings towards my ex. I'm over it and its just plain and simple....its time to move on. Even with my current situation and the reminders of what once was, I have to get over it.

I've just come to the conclusion that nothing healthy will come out of this and I dont want my past to remain and hindrance for my future. So....its labor day weekend holiday and its the very last day before I have to go back to my regular work schedule. And unlike my last few labor days where I would go out wit the hopes of meeting someone new or possibly just staying home, I actually spent all weekend with Courtney. And its a great feeling spending time with someone who you know loves spending time with you just as much. We might end up having that conversation about my ex's eventually but she doesn't even remotely seem interested in thag which is intriguing because usually most girls would have asked multiple questions, multiple times about that. But it literally hasn't happened yet. But she's told me about her exs a few times. So I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

But yes, today was the day when I said fuck it. No more checking up on her. No more looking at her FB page and Instagrsm Pages. Its a wrap.

And you would think that by me saying this that something must've happened. But no, I jusy truly feel that its time to move on. Courtney had a to leave for a little bit so when she left I checked my socials and the checked my ex's. A few things.....I remember the few months when we were talking she would express that she wanted to move back to LA and I lowkey didn't want her go because I knew I probably wouldn't see her again. But it seemed pretty clear thats where things were going. I remember that all of her immediate family moved out there so I figured she'd follow suit. But after we stopped talking she only started to travel out there and come back. Im assuming because she met someone out here and that wanted her to stay. Because I remember when I was with her and that was the only reason why she didn't go back to LA. Well whatever the case, from the outside looking in, it doesn't look like she's intending to leave this city anytime soon. She got herself a new apartment. And she's living on her own. Which is pretty damn cool I can't lie. Just basing off how I remember her, she was in NO WAY responsible to have her own shit. So I cant lie, I wish we were at least on talking terms so I could tell her how proud I am but whatever......
Another thing, the ex that she somehow despised when we were together is now back in tbe picture. Well he's been in the picture for a while now so it wouldn't out it passed me that they probably rekindled things despite all the shit she used to tell me about him. Which is what she's probably doing to me DESPITE all of the good shit I did for her. Lol its crazy.
And one more thing, I'm convinced, Facebook has never been good for me and her situation. Each and everytime something shitty would happen between facebook was caught in the middle of it. So today, for the very last time, I checked her account and the post she made about getting her own place had a few comments that caught my attention.

1. Was Nekos baby mama. Not sure if she had ANYTHING to do with Neko not coming around but it wouldn't surprise me. Cece has always been a friendly talkative person and for Nekos baby mama to stick around for so long despite not having a single thing in common reveals quite a lot to me. I cant even lie.

2. Her ex, as I said before its funny how they rekindled things. Its even funnier how they rekindled things immediately after we fell out the very last time. Almost as if she reached out to HIM not the other way around. Smh

3. Lacey, a while ago me and her matched on Tinder. I sent her a message simply to see if she'd respond. She didn't. And I forgot about it. But there's something that I realized, a lot of people are really loyal to my ex despite the fact that they never really had a real friendship with her at all. Her and lacey literally never talked when we were together. In fact I always felt like Lacey and a few other girls didn't really like Cece in that way to so its weird to see them being so loyal to her. Another girl thats ridiculously loyal to her is a girl that she worked with back when we moved from lithia springs to marietta. This girl literally matched with me and even met up with me. Had a nice walk in the park, nice conversation despite asking me weird ass questions about my ex. This is where I began questioning her motives for meeting up with me....at the end of the date she even gave me one of those hugs that had me in my feelings. After the date she even started asking me sexual questions. We planned another meet up and it never happened. And this is why I've decided to not really meet up with women with the specific intention of only meeting out in public. Because damn near each time ive done it it has lead to no where at all. And I've also decided that its pointless to try and get with any girl that I've met while I was with her. Its pointless. Besides.....times are changing and life is undoubtedly moving on. Its taken me damn near 4 days to finish this journal post because my time has been occupied heavily with Courtney. She's doing everything in her power to make me forget about the past without even knowing it. And its working for the most part. Its just those extremely nagging things that come up that makes me remember what once was. But ill just have to simply get over it. Courtney treats me way better than Cece could ever do. And I plan on treating her way better than I ever treated Cece because she absolutely deserves it.

Well....im finally finished with this journal post. I'll definitely be sharing my thoughts a little more soon.