Its funny how the universe works.
I haven't updated this blog in a about a year and many things have happened since. I have these thoughts in my head and i think the only way to get them out is to get them written, typed, or illustrated somewhere. So this is now my outlet again. I went ahead a deleted the old blogs because there were a few thoughts that I just couldnt see myself keeping out in the open any longer. But for those who have read them just know that somethings have turned for the better and somethings have turned for the worst.
Me and my now ex girlfriend split 9 days before our 5 year anniversary. I know right? I cant believe I stuck around that long either. Its funny because i was finally starting to become happy again. Kinda crazy how the year that we spent together where I was actually happy to be with her was the year that we split.
But what she did was the final straw. The final nail in the coffin. Around the time I got the position at the warehouse she was secretly talking to some clown she had a crush on from highschool. I didnt think nothing of it because I didnt think she'd take things further but she actually did. But I'll get into that in a moment.
I quit working in the warehouse cold turkey to pursue my talent in art further and full time. I was starting to notice an influx of clientele from my instagram and other sites and realized that I'd be able to make just enough in commission revenue to pay off my half of the bills. But this in turn, meant that I'd have less time for leisure and fun. I'd have to spend most of my time making my quotas for each month. I understood the process and I was willing to make the sacrifice. Because every body's gotta start off somewhere right? This also meant that i would be spending less time with her. And I thought she understood this. But i thought wrong.
So instead of voicing her opinion like a grown woman, she thought it would be cool to sneak talk and eventually meet up with this guy on Facebook. I knew all of this before hand because she was using my laptop to talk to him sometimes. What hurt me the most is that she had him pick her up at our place where we lived. So its difficult to even believe that this was the only time this has ever happened. Like why was she so comfortable doing that? Not only that, but I was actually home at the time this all went down. I was soo angry. I honestly cant remember any other time I was so upset. When she got home I played stupid for a little while and was lied to about 4 times before I confronted her. She couldnt do anything but have a dumbfounded look on her face because im guessing she never thought I'd find out. I'm guessing she knew what was coming next. I ended things with her. That was a level of disrespect I have never in my life felt before. Well at least not first hand. I've been dealt a shitty hand by women before but it was never this bad or this "in my face". So I had to do it.
Before I deleted the old blog posts, I read them just to see where my mind was at back then. Admittedly, I giggled a few times because of how many things I spoke back then actually came true. May not have been verbatim but Life has a funny way of showing you the cause and effect of certain outcomes before you are even ready to deal with them. I even stated that i wouldnt be surprised if I was single by the time I'm 28. And low and behold, albeit, it kind of wasnt my call to make this time.
She has contacted me a few times after the break up. Each time I responded with colder and colder texts. The last time she contacted me was when I finally reached the 10k milestone on Instagram. Which is kinda ironic given the fact that we broke up because I was so focused on achieving that goal. 2017 is now coming to a close. Christmas passed. My 28th birthday passed. I wasnt contacted by her on either of those days. So I figure she may be 100% done with me and has finally moved on. I'm not going to lie, as much as she has hurt me I was pretty anxious to see if she would call or at least text me on my birthday. I honestly probably would've caved in and let her come over so we could talk and be cordial. But it never happened. So I'm forced to move on and date around just as much as she is.
Regretfully I must say the dating scene in 2017-2018 is much different than it was in 2010-2012. It seems that girls are much more flaky and wishy washy these days. They dont seem to know what they want out of the guys that actively pursue them. Or if they even want the guys to pursue them at all.....
man, before i go on a extra long rant about that, let me go ahead and end this here.....lol
