Wow. Tinder Gold is bullshit

Its Tuesday 10:19 pm and I've been stuck in this  rut for the past 2 days. It all started yesterday when I began noticing the patterns on tinder that I mentioned yesterday.  And I've been dealing with it ever since. I'm sure the absence of weed has something to do with it but I'm not buying any until I get another commission and I'm sticking to that. So I have a sober mind and my thoughts aren't making things better. At all.

Also my art success has been dwindling and its killing me.

Unfortunately I have no idea when another commission will come my way because it seems like this month in particular was just as bad as this past December and January combined. All in all I only managed to get 2 commissions this month and they were both half detailed. Meaning they weren't full price.  So needless to say I've been unbelievably broke for a while now.  And its bugging the shit out of me. I'm just praying that the Renisha&cjay kickstarter goes well because I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't.

One more thing before I go to bed....

I finally did it. The one thing that I told myself I wouldn't do because it wasn't worth it to me. But my curiosity got the best of me today. I purchased the highest tinder membership you could get just so I could see the hidden matches tinder hid from me. Well.....

The results were exactly like I expected. I had 65 matches that were hidden from me. And out of all 65, only 4 of them were in shape and attractive.   The rest were all  fat and ugly. And get this, the attractive girls all live in completely different states. So I waited about 15 minutes before I said fuck this, and canceled my membership all together.   I lowkey cannot believe that shit. There are soooooo many chicks using that platform but somehow I managed to match with all of the fat ones? How the fuck is that even possible?
Theres tons of single attractive women on tinder but I just seem to be this fat girl magnet on there. Soo...

Nah I'm done with Tinder now. After the 10th of next month this app will be a distant memory for me. I'm done with it for good.

It's time to stop being a chump and talk to girls in person. This online shit is for the birds.

Really ugly fat birds at that. And I'm tired of it.

New plans

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Ok

Alright, so I've been noticing a pattern on Tinder lately. And Unfortunately it's making me really question why I'm even dealing with this app anymore.  It's very clear what the "powers that be" want me to surround myself with. And honestly, I took the bait for quite some time. But now I feel like my eyes have been closed to this bullshit for way too long and it's now to finally speak some truth:

Tinder's algorithms are rigged for me to only have real connections with fat women. Which couldn't be further from the type of woman I'm attracted to and that I'm trying to deal with.

I've noticed this by conducting an experiment to see my results. The experiment was to see how different my results would be if I were to swipe on everyone (like I've been doing) vs. Swiping on everyone except fat women.  And my results were very interesting.

While swiping on everyone, I was getting tons of matches but the quality of the matches were pretty terrible. 1 out of every 6 or 7 matches was an attractive woman. Some were fake or ugly women and the rest were all fat women. The ugly women never messaged me first nor did I ever message them, I just kept them around until I couldn't stand it anymore and deleted them. The pretty women, well you already know, none of them responded back to my messages and the ones that did would say one thing and then ghost shortly after.

The fat women on the other hand, were messaging me first damn near everytime.  Each all very curious about my account. I laid some curiosity traps on my account and they undoubtedly work on women, this is clear. They are just working on the WRONG women for me!

So I decided that enough was enough. I'm not super selective with my swiping but I am absolutely refusing to swipe on a single fat or chubby chick.  And my results are very interesting. Not only are the amounts of matches I get on a daily basis completely slowed down, but the matches I do get are some of the most annoying women on the planet. They are super uncooperative, competetive, power hungry, and flaky.

So my issue is clear. And it can mean 1 of 2 things.

Either Tinder is filled with mostly fat women who can't get a date other wise and/or  filled with women who simply want attention.

Or Tinder's algorithms is playing with me and they are refusing to show my account to normal looking chicks and only to fat women.

Whatever the case may be, I am very unhappy with this and I'm highly considering leaving this app alone for good soon. I'm sitting here literally paying 10 dollars a month just to get my self esteem ripped away from me slowly. I can't deal with this shit too much longer. Which is why I'm actually really looking forward to spring and summer. It's really time for me to ace my cold approach with women.

Also, before I end this post....

I went and cut off all of the chicks who I was dealing with previously except for Angel. And this is simply because I know she fucks with me the long way. It's crazy but I've been knowing this woman for 20+  years now. So if she good, then we good.

But these other chicks, yeah it's a wrap.

Diamond, Michaela and who ever else was out there I'm super done with all of em just as I'm sure they are super done with me. But it's all good, fuck em though.

Damn

Gonna make this quick because it's kinda late but I just want to take time and reflect on how things have been the past few weeks.....

I am now completely back to square one. It may not seem like it to all the women I was talking to but it will eventually.  I'm completely starting off with a clean slate, with the exception of Angel. But that's another story smh.

But yeah its about that time anyway, the weather is about to change and it's going to be time for me to go full force into being outside again. So yeah, no more long days of being in the house with nothing to do. I'm definitely about to be more active soon. And with that, comes way more opportunities for me to approach more women. Besides all of the girls I was dealing with fell off. Some of them were purposely my fault and others were the other party entirely.

What ever the case, I know that I'm starting off with a clean slate. I deleted all the text messages and names. So if they text me and get a "who is this?" Response from me , I'm not even going to feel so bad.

Anyway, that is it for now. More at a later time.

Open book

I woke up to a text from one of my friends telling me that they are disappointed in my ex. And at that point is when I realized I no longer loved my ex. The thing is I've been knew about her recent photos on Instagram and at first it bothered me but then I got to thinking about it, it's really none of my concern at this point.

It's just super weird seeing her post photos in that way, especially with all of her brothers having access to it. Smh so at this point I could care less. I lowkey just want to rid her from my life and I will eventually. It's just that mother nature is trying to prevent the inevitable at this point and time. They said it would snow this morning but it's just raining and they had the whole city panicked for no reason. So I'm not working today and I'm sure no one is going to be in the main office so I'm going to have to wait.

Anyways I just had another mind opening experience that really shows that I dint need to be worrying about my ex nor do I need to be worrying about any other chick who isn't cooperating with me. Because the truth is there are soooo many women out there. Hell just in Atlanta alone it's crazy! Again I've been hibernating so I haven't really been out in public like that. But they are out there and what I just seen proved it.

So there's this girl that I follow on one of my Instagram accounts and I think shes super sexy! So sexy that she would be the type that I'd approach if i seen her on person. And kept thinking to myself that I wished she lived out here. She looks so good that she lowkey looks like she'd live out here. I just always assumed that she didnt.

Well to make a long story short, she posted a few photos recently and she was at a mall that in my opinion, is notorious for having the prettiest girls. The minute I seen her posts I put my phone down and stared into space for a good 49 seconds. That really blew my mind on the low.

Just goes to show that I really dont need to be worrying about my ex period. And I really shouldn't be checking on her either.  All of this pussy walking around here from top notch women. I just gotta get out a this hibernation shit. I swear as soon as this weather changes its over with. 👌🏽

Dazed

Things have settled a bit and getting back to normal for me. I'm really considering seriously working out again. After around a food 3 to 4 month hiatus I think it's going to be time really soon. Besides I need something to take my energy and attention away from drawing all the time. Like i love drawing don't get me wrong but i don't want it to start seeming like a chore.

I remember back when I was going to the gym and still working on my art at the same time last year. I think it's time to start that again.

Besides i finally have my comic proofs for Renisha &Cjay came in the mail recently. so i really need to focus a lot of my energy elsewhere anyway..

Now onto girl news......

I'm battling....well not really battling but I am definitely certain that my thoughts about the actions I will be taking the spring/summer are validated. I mean because granted, I really do love the results I've been getting on Tinder but we all know that the hottest and most on point women will not be online. I have to meet them in person. Which is why even the pretty girls I meet online can't even compare to all the girls I see when I'm out in public.  So it's very  clear in what I need to do in order to get the results I want. Which is why I can't wait till Spring!!

Also.....Diamond finally contacted me again. Funny, I thought she vanished.  Luckily I have managed to grow up a bit and I've been able to become more patient with women. Because I know how they are. They are literally like cats. And because of this Diamond reappeared like she never left. And I fucked the shit out of her when she came over. I made it a point to let her know to never disappear on me again. And she obliged.  We did all of this while we were fucking and I can't lie it was so freaking sexy the way she was talking to me. Damn I really dig this woman. Shes so sexy to me!

Anyways, I recorded her 2 more times while we had sex. And I kinda let her know that I have a collection. Simply because I want her to know that she isn't the only girl I'm dealing with and although I really dig her, I can definitely take it or leave it when it comes to her. (And to be honest, I really need to be like that with every girl that I speak with.)

Funny enough, she's started chasing me again. Which is crazy because I was the one initiating contact when we were messing around before. But this time it feels a little different.

Other than that, I'm supposed go meet a new woman tomorrow. I can't lie, the chances of that happening is pretty slim but ill still contact her and see if she's still down. If not then I know I'll always have Mary Jane to keep me company.

Anyway....I'm out

What the hell man?

I haven't  made a post in a while, simply because I felt like my life was going well and I didn't really feel a need to take sometime to write down my thoughts. But today kind of hit a breaking point for me.

Let's start things off with my art first.

Things are going good again. I think I'm finally out of my winter slump and there are at least 2 to 3 people inquiring about work every few days which is good.

I'm also pushing Ms. Makeshift a lot more now since I'm finished with Renisha & Cjay. And if course people are loving her! I'll have to focus on Cjay and Star Hex next.

Unfortunately this weekend has not at all gone how I planned though.  I've literally been waiting all week for my package of Renisha&cjay comic proofs to come in the mail. So I can finally start working on the Kickstarter but for some strange reason I'm at a stand still. I was expecting the comics Friday afternoon.  It is now late Saturday evening and I still don't have them. Its severely prolonging everything as I really wanted to amp my Instagram following with the news when I got them in the mail but I'm still waiting. Smh I really freaking hope they come in tomorrow. I am really looking forward to seeing how they look.

So now with the women in my life.....

It's a wreck. It's always been a wreck and I find myself having everything I want but nothing that I want at the same time. And I'm beginning to think it's because I simply have not been applying myself in public. This is because I don't go outside. 1.  Because it's cold and 2. Because I hate being cold.  So I chose to stay inside for most of the winter and work on my comics which is what I've been doing. Sorta...

So there are a few chicks in my life. Well not really....

And this is my problem. I've now come to a point where none of them actually like me or take me seriously. Which I'm fine with, it's just that certain things have really been ticking me off lately.  

So.....Diamond is no longer speaking to me. And I honestly thought it was something I did but in reality after having a talk with Brandon it has nothing to do with me. And one day, when she's ready, she'll reach out. But then again maybe not. I will say this though, she definitely still checks out my posts on Instagram.  So we'll  see.

Angel.... such an interesting soul she has. She's always been a good friend I just wish she was more responsible with her life choices. When we hang out we definitely have fun. And it's always understood what we both want. We went to a sex shop last time we hung out. It was interesting lol.

Corean.....no I am no longer calling her that.  Shes become exactly what I thought she would. And what I already prophesied a while back. She's back to taking ultra sexy photos. And she looks like she she may be losing weight. But none of that is my concern. I never thought I'd say this but I literally feel nothing for her now. Like even if she were in front of me and began crying I wouldn't care honestly. I think I'm just completely done with this situation and the minute she signs these roommate release forms she'll be out of my life for good. 

There's a girl that I was infatuated with. Emphasis on the was. Her name is Brenda. And I can't front, I was really digging her when we first met. She came over to my place and we hit it off pretty good.  She seemed like she really wanted to fuck so I proceeded but for some reason I didn't go all the way so we didnt have sex that first time. Well she came over again, and to make a long story short, that had to be the 4th most weirdest sex experience in my life.  See she came over and I can tell she had a cold. So I gave her some medicine.  Worst decision ever.

Because this medicine makes you sleepy. And we were already smoking and drinking. So she begins to says shes sleepy I tell her that she isn't going to sleep. She says ok and lays on me. I start playing with her and she's not stopping me so I keep going. Next thing you know shes bent over and I'm going in. I tell her to meet me in my room because I figured that little session woke her up from whatever she was feeling. She was woke and she played on my bed and got in doggy style position. I slide in and start going to work again. Then she moves off of me and tells me she wants to go sleep. I let her sleep expecting she'd wake up and be ready to go back to having sex. it no she woke up and got up like she didn't know where she was. I immediately felt awkward but I didn't show it. I acted as calm as I could even though I was pissed inside. She gets up, puts on her clothes and jets out the door without giving me a hug or anything. I'm really confused at this point. I'm like what the hell happened?

I had a date in place with a much more attractive woman around that time. But because "I didn't call to reconfirm" 😒 it didnt go through. I wasnt tripping because I was with Brenda and I thought my night would run smoothly without thinking about her anyway. Who would've known that I would be ending my night texting that woman. Actually surprised she responded. Because I know how women are these days nothing will probably come out of it. But whatever....I'm just more pissed at the fact at how I'm being treated by Brenda. Like I'm being treated as less than. Which is pretty interesting considering the fact that she's the one driving her happy ass all the way from Stone Mountain to Marietta to come see me. 🤷🏾‍♂️ Either way I'm not reaching out anymore and I wouldn't be surprised if she no longer reaches out either. I already have her muted on my IG so there will be no interaction from me whatsoever. So the only way is if she reaches out. She also smokes cigarettes. And I'm super not digging that.

I will say something though.....her body was perfect. Something that I can honestly say I've been wanting but couldn't obtain for the weirdest reason. Each girl I've been with have not had the most perfect body's other than Angel. And Brenda's body beats Angel's body hands down. And while this woman was laying on my chest I kept thinking damn if only Corean wasn't such a fucking dumb ass and followed me the way she should have then she would've been laying there with me. I could go on and on about her but Brenda was exactly where I wanted Corean to be. And that's where she should've wanted for herself too.  It just sucks that the harsh reality will always be what it is.

Adja......yeah that bitch is done. Fried to crisp. She actually did come but she really wanted time. And would've wanted more if I let her. She didnt realize I would smarten up from the last time I saw her. She realized i wasn't taking any shit from her and she had no way if taking advantage of me. She got upset and didn't want to see it talk to me anymore. She was here for 4 days and I only seen her once. To make matters worse, ironically her hotel was 10 minutes away from my place. So after that I went ahead and blocked her. She no longer has a way to get in contact with me. And go be honest, she shouldn't want to. Her actions were clear.

Michaela.....I've been keeping my distance because I can't lie, she's not what I want. And even though its fun having sex with her. She's the only girl I get mad at when we use all of my condoms. And it definitely shouldn't be that way.

Everyone else has just been irrelevant...

Well that's all for now I guess..🤷🏾‍♂️